Challenging Clients

Out of my handful of clients, I do have a couple that pose unique challenges.  Many people do not really understand what a coach does…as one of my favorite ICA instructors says, a lot of people seek to hire “a professional nag”.  That is certainly not what I would like to be!!!  I really would like my clients to learn to push themselves (nag if that’s what it takes) so that they can experience true internal change.

In order for change to take place, you need to take responsibility for your actions.  It’s impossible to have ownership until you are accountable for the results you get.  For instance, if I eat an entire pizza (which I would no longer do, thanks to a bout with the stomach flu!), and I gain 5 pounds in one week, I need to acknowledge that it was my actions (the eating of the pizza) that is responsible for the weight gain.  Once I do this, I own the fact that I gained weight, and yes I am responsible, so what can I do to prevent it next time?  A life or weight loss coach does not have the power to stop clients from eating pizza.  Who would want that responsibility?  I’d be at Pizza Hut 24/7!  I am not the Pizza Patrol!  The job of a weight loss coach is to help the client see why he or she wants the pizza.  Is it really pizza this person or seeking?  Or is it the affection of a distant spouse?  The client has the power and knowledge within them to decide whether or not to eat the pizza – if the decision is yes this person once again has the power and knowledge to know how much pizza is too much.  Pizza in itself is not a bad thing!  We cannot blame the pizza for our love handles flapping in the wind!  Pizza doesn’t talk to us and hold a gun to our heads and demand that we eat 6 slices or it will harm our loved ones.  But what happens when we fill a void with pizza?  We harm ourselves and our loved ones too since we are likely shortening our lives!

Clients often want me to tell them what to do.  They want me to be “Dear Holly”.  They want advice.  They want me to tell them what is best for them.  I do not want to do this, and I will not do this.  I wouldn’t be doing my job as a coach if I did.  I do give resources to clients occasionally so they can do some research on their own.  I do give “homework” with the purpose of helping clients with their own self-discovery.  But I won’t tell them what to eat, who to talk to, or how to go about doing it.  If I coach does these things for a client, it disempowers them when what we want to do is EMPOWER our clients.

This is why it is my approach when coaching clients wanting to improve their health to have them create their own program, using the resources that they access and common sense knowledge that they already possess.  I am here for support, feedback, and to challenge when they need it.  When clients are “told” what to do, the results are not favorable.  Hmm….could this be why many people fail when trying to follow a “diet” or commercial weight loss program?  There is sooooooooooooooo much more to weight loss and getting healthy than just diet and exercise.  What, you ask?  That is something you need to figure out for yourself – you know what your issues are, what your strengths and weaknesses are, and what has worked and not worked for you in the past.

I am so excited to be in such a wonderful profession!  I am planning on putting together a “Healthy Challenge” to take place this fall and I think the participants will be pleasantly surprised by what this program will – and will not – entail.  More to come!