Regrouping

This past weekend was a diet disaster.  I am going to have to work out  A LOT to avoid some major angriness of the scale.  Schedule conflicts have made it hard for me to get to the group exercise classes that I love.  When I don’t exercise enough, I don’t get the benefit of the lovely endorphins, hence I feel less motivated to do ANYTHING and one of those things is to eat right.

I have been having the evil BUTTER craving lately.  I want popcorn with LOTS of butter on it.  I mean dripping in butter.  Yummy.  Is it PMS?  Probably.  I have been doing some analysis to try to find out what I really want when I get the butter craving.  It has played a recurring role in my life for quite a while now.  For at least 2 years, once every couple of months it comes on so strong that no matter what I do, I cannot resist it.  I usually do not have butter in the house, so most of the time it’s not possible to give in to it.  But sometimes I buy butter for a recipe or something, and I have it.  Sometimes, I do not even think about it.  It can be in the fridge for weeks and I don’t touch it.  But sometimes, I look at the stick of butter, and it says “I think you should buy me some popcorn.  We’d have such a good time together”.  And this is exactly what it said to me last week.  And I was feeling down, discouraged, in need of a friend…having a good time was exactly what I needed.  I tried to remind myself what it would be like after Butter and I partied together.  I would feel fat and weak, demoralized and defeated.  I tried to summon up an image of myself after a popcorn indulgence.  But there was a SMILE on my face…NO, WIPE THAT SMILE OFF – YOU WILL FEEL LIKE A FAILURE!  But no matter what I did, I just kept on smiling.  So, I bought some popcorn, and the rest is history.  Orville has this new line of popcorn that is really good, so I bought some.  I managed to eat 2 of the 3 packages with no interruptions…but I elected to share bag #3 to shave off some of the calories (I did not eat all 3 bags in one day!).

I haven’t beaten myself up.  I allow myself to indulge every once in a while.  I do not let it turn into a total backslide, that’s all.  I do like to try to find “themes” in my life to better understand the need for certain foods.  I was feeling really alone.  Lonely.  Like no one understood my fears and challenges, and no one cared.  I felt invisible.  And since I was invisible, eating buttered popcorn was a great idea!  No one would be able to see the pounds that it would add to my body, the shiny lips that resulted in scarfing down a bag of dripping popcorn at a time.  Aha!  The lightbulb has been flicked on.  So, I need to be careful of feeling lonely and invisible, because it makes me do outrageous things to make me more visible.  But I don’t want to be visible in that way.  I want to be visible in the sense that I do things to make myself visible, that my works and personality would make people look my way and want to get to know me better.

So, I am off to make a sensible dinner and then I am hopping on my bike for a 20-miler.  I’ll need to do that every day this week.  Just the price I must pay for solving my problems with food (again).   At least I learned something about myself!

Challenges, Challenges

I often ask my clients what they would like for me to do for them, and how they would like to be coached.  An answer I hear a lot is “Challenge me”.  Everyone loves a challenge…it’s a thrill to work toward a goal that seems from some angles to be impossible.  It’s a total high to reach that goal that once seemed undoable – the excitement is contagious and the urge to tell the whole world can not be contained. 

People that have a lot of weight to lose often feel bored.  Bored with eating the same old things, bored with doing the same old exercise, bored with being “healthy”.  After all, they’ve been doing these things for quite a while, and progress is often slow.  Progress can speed up when a little bit of competition is thrown into the ring.  If I told you I don’t think you can lose 5 lbs this week, you would probably work as hard as you can in order to prove me wrong. 

I’ve been planning a “challenge” event for quite some time in my mind.  I am bringing it to the forefront in the coming weeks, and I can’t wait to see what transpires.  I bet the results will be mind-blowing!

Shameless Self-Promotion

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated this blog because I have been very busy business building and getting ready for a local Healthy Challenge event here in Grand Rapids.

I have some exciting announcements, however!  I have launched my new E-zine which will be published bi-weekly and will contain loads of informative articles, interviews, recipes, tips, and announcements.  To sign up and get a FREE mini email coaching session, visit my website at:  http://www.cleversolutionscoaching.com

I also have launched a new business blog, which will contain announcements and information pertaining Clever Solutions Coaching.  The blog address is:  http://cleversolutionscoaching.com/blog

I am also going to be conducting group Weight Loss Coaching via teleseminar beginning mid-September.  This will be an 8-week workshop in which we will focus on “Thinking Yourself Thin”.  It will be a small, intimate, interactive group (or groups) where participants will learn how to manage self-sabotaging thoughts and make any healthy eating plan work for weight loss and optimal health.  To sign up, send me a private email at info@cleversolutionscoaching.com and state which days/times would work for you and what you would like to address in this coaching group.  The calls will be recorded, so you will never miss a thing!  All emails will be answered personally and you will receive a FREE 25-Minute “Think Yourself Thin” Strategy session just for inquiring.  In this session, you will clarify your vision of a healthy life & body over the next three months, uncover hidden challenges that  may be sabotaging your success, and gain more energy and a renewed sense of motivation in working toward your goals.  The most exciting part?  The cost for this 8-week virtual workshop is only $70 – less than $10 per week!  Space is limited to 8 participants in each group.

Failure – NOT AN OPTION

So many people claim that the reason they aren’t doing what they want to be doing is because they are afraid to fail.  I always follow up that statement with this question:  what does failure mean to you?  Failure is a GOOD thing most of the time.  It teaches us that something we are doing is not working!  If something is not working, what is the next logical step?  Try something else!   There really is no “failure” – just things that do not work the way we hoped they had.  Most successful people fail several times before hitting on something that works for them.  Never trust someone who says that they have never failed – it means that they aren’t setting their standards high enough!

If we look at failure from a different angle, we can see that it really does not exist.  We never fail, we merely succeed at finding out that something is not working the way we had hoped it would, and therefore are given another opportunity to do something that just might!

Got my Game Face on!

It’s the first day back from a 2-week break from classes.  I’ve been spending a lot of time working on my upcoming newsletter and other marketing materials.  Trying to keep up with my exercise to keep the weight coming off. 

There are a lot of things on my “TO DO” list that I am not particularly looking forward to doing.  One of them is tweaking my website to appeal to my target audience.  I am trying to find out what their biggest challenges are and what sort of solutions they seek – it’s harder than I thought it would be!  My passion is helping people with their new businesses and wellness coaching…both have something in common.  A definite “START” point and different “GOALS” to meet.  This can be viewed as a boring straight line – a little boring…but the line will get you from point A to point B.  I like to view the coaching process as an adventure and the action plan as a treasure map.  Weight loss is especially something that people dread and can seem very overwhelming when the end point seems very far away.  Making it into something enjoyable – a game so to speak – takes a lot of the fear and overwhelm out of the process and leads to better results because it is FUN. 

We all have our own favorite games…how can you turn your next challenge into a game that will make it a more enjoyable and meaningful experience for you?

Another Rant…I must vent!!!

I am a pretty easy person with whom to get along…not much really makes me angry.  Except for one thing:  people who continually allow themselves to be disrespected and abused when they have the power to change things, but they don’t “to keep up appearances”.  It is something I think of a lot, because I am constantly reminded of it.  I find it hard to have respect for people like this, even if they are the nicest, most helpful people in the world.  But often, the intention is good, but when it comes down to keeping a promise or following through with something, it doesn’t happen because this person must cater to the person who continually gives nothing but disrespect and abuse.  The one being disrespected often puts his/her abuser’s needs above not only his/her own, but that of other people that really do matter and care about this person. 

I would never allow myself to be treated this way.  I sure as heck hope my daughter never allows herself to be treated this way.  I have trouble even allowing my daughter to witness this particular relationship due to the example it is putting forth.  I do not want her to think it is OK for a woman to have no mind or life of her own.  And you can bet if a client comes to me and is allowing him/herself to be treated this way, I am going to bring it up, as uncomfortable as it may be.  IT IS NOT OK!!!! 

OK, I’m done…thanks for letting me get that off my chest!  I think I’ll go run or something now…I feel the need to burn off the rest of the frustration I am feeling!!!

 

 

The Kid Inside Us

Remember the days when we were young and carefree?  Times were different then…we’d play outside all day long, not wanting to come inside to eat or take a shower or go to bed.  In many ways it was awesome…but for some of us, there are some things from out childhood that stick with us as we age, and they don’t serve us well.  I learned to tiptoe around everyone, trying not to upset the balance.  I was always in fear of doing something wrong, something that would further label me as “not good enough”.  And yes, those fears have followed me.  For many others, the need for approval is something that has stuck with them…I’m sure many of you can relate to trying so hard to please loved ones and never getting anything as much as a “good job”.  We often still seek the things that we never received as children…we try so hard to get them, and end up learning the hard lesson that the only ones that really matter are ourselves and our higher power.  We grow into adults for a reason…there comes a time when we need to look into the mirror and say “I am a grown up now!  I never got the (love, approval, acknowledgement, hugs, etc.) that I so badly wanted as a child from __________, but I realize that this is just how life is sometimes.  I forgive you, __________, for not giving me what I so badly wanted and needed, and I have decided to move on.  I am free to be who I am, and give myself what I need!”   Forgiveness frees us to be who we are…blaming and holding onto the hurts of the past keep us a slave to those bad feelings.  Taking responsiblity for our own actions, and grabbing the reigns and driving our own sleigh into a better future, is so liberating.  Can we really pat ourselves on the back?  Is it OK to throw a celebration for ourselves when we have done a good job?  Can we really give ourselves the approval that we desire?  Why the heck not???  Does it not add value to our character when we show others that we can take time out to acknowledge ourselves and take pride in what we do? 

There are times when holding onto that inner child is very appropriate and keeps us young…such as when we are playing with children, going out on a date (remember young love?) or are trying to have fun while exercising…no one likes a fuddy duddy…but being stuck in a place where we are surrounded with bad feelings that keep us from moving forward onto bigger and better things is not one of the better things about holding onto our inner child.  Do you need to give yourself a hug today?

Confidence Comes Gradually

When it comes to speaking in public, writing articles, coming up with creative marketing ideas – my confidence is there.  As I get better at these things, the confidence soars even more. 

As I talk to more and more people, I am realizing that confidence is at the core of many problems that people have.  Some people really want to learn a new sport, but are hesitant to play because they don’t feel they are good enough and will look stupid.  Some people spend hours and hours learning a new language and won’t speak to anyone because they are afraid of saying something wrong and being criticized for it! 

If you wait until you feel you are “competent” will you be more confident?  But what has not being confident robbed you of?  I am going full force with my new business.  I may not be a great coach yet, but if I don’t get the practice, I never will be.  And I will be robbed of the fun and experiences…the challenges of falling flat on my face and getting back up again.  Each opportunity that I “fail” I experience a great learning opportunity. 

I have put it out there that I am going to surpass my all time salary high by this time next year.  It is possible!  But what if it’s this time next year, and I have not met my goal?  Will it totally kill my confidence and make me depressed and run for the ice cream?  I hope not — I am hoping that it will just force me to reassess my methods, hire a new coach if I need one, dedicate more time to different things, get rid of the things that are draining my time and energy.

I always remember my ultimate motivator.  She is the reason I have taken charge of my health.  She is the reason that I am taking my career into a new direction (so I can spend more time with her, buy her lots of toys, send her to a great school, etc. ).

I have many cuter pictures of her, but I haven’t downloaded them yet.  But I will introduce her here:

 

 

 

 

Challenging Clients

Out of my handful of clients, I do have a couple that pose unique challenges.  Many people do not really understand what a coach does…as one of my favorite ICA instructors says, a lot of people seek to hire “a professional nag”.  That is certainly not what I would like to be!!!  I really would like my clients to learn to push themselves (nag if that’s what it takes) so that they can experience true internal change.

In order for change to take place, you need to take responsibility for your actions.  It’s impossible to have ownership until you are accountable for the results you get.  For instance, if I eat an entire pizza (which I would no longer do, thanks to a bout with the stomach flu!), and I gain 5 pounds in one week, I need to acknowledge that it was my actions (the eating of the pizza) that is responsible for the weight gain.  Once I do this, I own the fact that I gained weight, and yes I am responsible, so what can I do to prevent it next time?  A life or weight loss coach does not have the power to stop clients from eating pizza.  Who would want that responsibility?  I’d be at Pizza Hut 24/7!  I am not the Pizza Patrol!  The job of a weight loss coach is to help the client see why he or she wants the pizza.  Is it really pizza this person or seeking?  Or is it the affection of a distant spouse?  The client has the power and knowledge within them to decide whether or not to eat the pizza – if the decision is yes this person once again has the power and knowledge to know how much pizza is too much.  Pizza in itself is not a bad thing!  We cannot blame the pizza for our love handles flapping in the wind!  Pizza doesn’t talk to us and hold a gun to our heads and demand that we eat 6 slices or it will harm our loved ones.  But what happens when we fill a void with pizza?  We harm ourselves and our loved ones too since we are likely shortening our lives!

Clients often want me to tell them what to do.  They want me to be “Dear Holly”.  They want advice.  They want me to tell them what is best for them.  I do not want to do this, and I will not do this.  I wouldn’t be doing my job as a coach if I did.  I do give resources to clients occasionally so they can do some research on their own.  I do give “homework” with the purpose of helping clients with their own self-discovery.  But I won’t tell them what to eat, who to talk to, or how to go about doing it.  If I coach does these things for a client, it disempowers them when what we want to do is EMPOWER our clients.

This is why it is my approach when coaching clients wanting to improve their health to have them create their own program, using the resources that they access and common sense knowledge that they already possess.  I am here for support, feedback, and to challenge when they need it.  When clients are “told” what to do, the results are not favorable.  Hmm….could this be why many people fail when trying to follow a “diet” or commercial weight loss program?  There is sooooooooooooooo much more to weight loss and getting healthy than just diet and exercise.  What, you ask?  That is something you need to figure out for yourself – you know what your issues are, what your strengths and weaknesses are, and what has worked and not worked for you in the past.

I am so excited to be in such a wonderful profession!  I am planning on putting together a “Healthy Challenge” to take place this fall and I think the participants will be pleasantly surprised by what this program will – and will not – entail.  More to come!

Do You Need a Cheerleader?

Let’s face it, sometimes life is just not that exciting.  Sometimes our responsibilities seem like daunting chores, which causes us to procrastinate or not put our best foot forward.  Even when we want something really badly, it’s always nice to have someone who supports us and cheers us on.  So often, we just don’t have anyone standing on the sidelines saying “Go You!” 

Yes,  a life coach does act somewhat as a personal cheerleader.  He or she supports you when you are trying to accomplish your goals and celebrates your successes with you.  But most importantly, a coach shows you how you can be your own personal cheerleader. 

I think back on the “dark” days when I was merely a dog poop picker-upper and remember how I never told myself “Just look at what you have accomplished!  Great job, keep it up!”  True, I wasn’t totally excited about what I was doing, but I also was not in the habit of acknowledging myself for my achievements.  I wasn’t just a dog poop picker-upper after all, I was a successful small business owner with satisfied customers who referred my service to their friends and family.  I was a successful marketer who had made my business a well-known, highly reputable service.  And I did it by working hard, setting goals and not giving up when times got rough.  But man, was it a struggle!  And I got burnt out very quickly, because no one helped me learn how to streamline my systems and remind me to take care of myself.  No one taught me how to be my own best ally, to lift myself up when I was feeling down.  I always discounted my own successes…”Oh, it’s nothing”.  I actually felt I didn’t deserve the good things in my life. 

OH MY, HOW THINGS CAN CHANGE!!!  I am where I need to be right now…in my element…able to not only enthuse others in a calm, quiet way that is long-lasting, but I can also cheer myself on.  Sure, I have a lot of work to do, but that is what life is all about! 

As humans, we are never-ending novels.  As one chapter comes to a close, another begins.  Our stories contain humor, intrigue, suspense, and sometimes even tragedy.  That is what makes life so exciting – there are always battles to win and new territories to conquer.  We deal with people who are delightful gentlemen and some who are royal pains in the rear.  Somehow, no matter what we face, we keep on truckin’ – but isn’t it more enjoyable when someone is honking at you from the car in the next lane?